Letters
by ryokii1
Summary: sharmen sad story.


Letters.

Carmen de la pica Morales was her name. And by that simple name, it meant she was out of your league. Heir to the Morales fortune that will ensure her family's luxury lifestyle for generations to come. A family rich from oil and mines for jewelry business. Rich beyond imagination, which is why Carmen was single.

Yes, she was beautiful, smart, athletic, funny and easy to get along with, but the only people that wanted her, was always the same reason for everything else… money. Carmen had come out to her mother about her sexuality, and shockingly, was accepted. It took a while for Mercedes to get accustomed to the fact that her 14 year old daughter was gay. However, family was family. Now, at the age of 23, V.P. of the Morales Corporation, Carmen was asked by her mother to go out on a date with women and settle down. So that she could one day take over the company fully, and have her supporting wife by her side.

Carmen didn't see anyone though, she excluded herself from dating, after the few first dates she had she realized, she was meant to be alone. It was hard, especially at night when she would go to her window and look up to the stars. It always seemed each star had a pair, its rightful counterpart, which only shined bright when the two stars where together. Carmen was lost, alone, never having known what it's like to love someone, to make love to someone, to feel someone's heart beat at the same rhythm as her own. Carmen, still living with her family in the mansion, for reasons that included: her mother didn't want her alone in an empty house, most of the family lived there, and she didn't want to be alone…

…

Then one day life threw her an unexpected turn, a part of her life she never thought she'd see…

Carmen was walking down the spiral staircase, when her mother came rushing to her. She saw that look, the 'I found a nice girl you can date and marry and give me some little grand babies!' Carmen sighed, she hadn't gone out on a date since she was 21, and it went horrible. The woman was rude, loud, horrendous, and quite frankly a bitch. Since then, Carmen hadn't bothered.

"Carmencita! There's someone I'm hoping you would like to meet-"

"No mother, I just don't… I just can't" Carmen says, knowing it was a waste of breath, she'd have to give her mother 5 minutes of rambling before she would finally give up on Carmen.

"She comes from a good family," By good, she meant rich, which Mercedes didn't care about, she could be a beggar for all she cared, she just wanted Carmen happy, "owns a popular, respectable magazine, she's nice people, please Carmencita, just one try."

"No!" Carmen says, losing her temper. Shocked, Mercedes stops talking, turning to leave. Carmen sighs and calls after her, "I'm just not interested in seeing anyone mami, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I understand, I'll tell her." Mercedes says, smiling sadly at her daughter.

Carmen sighed and went to work.

…

The following day, Carmen came back from a long day in work. She just wanted to get to bed, before heading up, she goes to give her mother a good night kiss. Carmen opens the door to her mother sleeping soundly in bed. Carmen goes over and kisses her mother in the cheek, as she turns around to head to her own room, her mother calls her. "Carmen, honey, your finally home."

"Yes mami, go back to bed." Carmen says, smiling at how easily her mother can be woken.

"Wait, I told the woman you didn't want to see her," Mercedes says, gaining a questioning look from Carmen, she never mentioned again any of the women she offered Carmen.

"She asked me if I could give you this, she said she was going to Italy for two months, and was hoping to hear from you." Mercedes says, giving Carmen an envelope.

Carmen took the letter, hoping her mother would finally go to sleep. She did, and Carmen went to her own room, throwing the letter on the desk in her room, lying down on the bed to let sleep overtake her.

…

The next day, Carmen was sitting in her large chair in the conference room, she opened up her brief case, looking for the Tylenol she always carried with her for after conference purposes. When she opened it, she took out the pills. Swallowing one, she went to put back the pills, finding the letter her mother gave her, Carmen picked it up. She stared at the letter, it was blank, only to be a holding for the letter inside. Carmen opened it, and retrieved the letter, she began to read…

Dear Carmen,

I know you don't wish to see me. That is fine, though I wish I would have been enough to change your mind on this matter. But, I know that you're a strong woman, and yes, you might not need a woman to support you in your business. I know you don't, I've heard so much about you, your intelligence, your maturity, your beauty… I couldn't help to think I might be able to break your walls. I know what it's like, to put those walls in defensive because no one who has ever been in has been good. They never see the real you. But, Carmen, I understand you don't want to see me, but maybe you can read me Carmen, because I'm an open book here, waiting for you to let me see you.

Love,

A lonely star.

Carmen sat there, staring at the letter tentatively. She let her finger trace the words that were written neatly in ink. This letter was perfect in every sense, the letter folded carefully, writing neat yet hand written, words so carefully written Carmen is inclined to trace them with her finger tip, and Carmen finds herself focusing on 2 words: lonely star…

…

Carmen spends the next week wondering whether she should reply, she shows no one the letter, feeling it was too personal for anyone to see, even though her mother was sad, she couldn't let anyone see it. Finally one late night, when after years of never looking, she looks up at the stars and makes her choice.

Dear Lonely Star,

You wish to see me you say? How can you see me through words and letters? How can you know what my beauty holds when pictures can be deceiving? How can you expect me to let you through my walls that you say I barricade myself in? It seems you make so many assumptions of me, it looks like you've seen what you've wanted to see so far… You say you're an open book, are those words you speak to me those of lines you have spoken to others, for I too have heard of you, heard of your womanizing ways, how could I love a woman who seems to love all women.

Sincerely,

Carmen.

Carmen put the letter in a blank envelope, and then gave it to her maid Jenny. "Make sure she receives it." Carmen says simply, everyone knew who she was talking about; it was the mystery woman whose letter was always carried with her, reading it an endless amount of times.

…

The figure was sitting on the desk, staring at the letter, reading it once again in her mind. Her lithe body leaned back on the chair, green eyes flickering with joy and curiousness. She takes out a bottle of ink and a feather and begins to write.

Dear Carmen,

Yes, I want to see you, and yes I can see you with words. Not your physical appearance, but your soul, your meaning in this life Carmen, I want to see a part of you that you don't show the world, I want to dive deep inside you and let our beings mold into one, as I get to delve into all those thoughts you hide in your mind. Let me in Carmen, you know your barricading yourself, still. I have assumed from you, I will not lie, you remind me so much of myself, locking feelings away, not wanting to look into the sky because I'd see that I'm the only one lightly glowing alone, realizing that maybe, I was meant to be North star, meant to lead, yet always alone. I would go to the Santa Monica pier at night, looking to the stars, it was the only place I could call home. As for my words, these come from me, as I sit in the dark, there have never been words spoken truer than the ones I've spoken to _you._ I cannot deny my womanizing ways, but Carmen, I can answer your question, of how to love someone who seems to love so many others. And the answer, my dear Carmen, is simple: You just do.

Love,

A lonely star.

The figure puts the letter in the envelope, ordering one of her assistants to mail it off. The woman now sat there, staring at the letter she received earlier, bringing it to her lips, the rough surface touching her soft gentle lips; she sniffs it, the smell of paper, ink, and _her_.

…

Carmen received the letter, rapidly, yet gently enough to not rip or damage the letter, opens and reads it. It's been a week since she sent her own letter, she had waited anxiously to receive the letter.

Carmen reads it through thoroughly, and then begins to write her reply with a pen. Carmen knew it had been 3 weeks since the woman of her dreams had left to Italy. A part of her hated the delay of having to alternate week after week on sending/receiving, but it made it more real to her in a way.

Dear Lonely Star,

I don't want to trust or believe you, I just want to stop. Stop thinking about you, of what you say in those words, of how I wait anxiously for a week to hear from you. It drives me insane, more than I could ever admit to anyone. But, I admit to you, because you're not just anyone, you're so much more. I don't want to feel this way, my brain is telling me to just ignore you're letters, but my body betrays me, for when my maid brings your letter in her hand, my body has a will of its own, and snatches it before my mind has the time to retaliate. Most of all my heart beats so fast, why does it so? Why does it so, can you answer my calls oh lonely star, can you answer my pleas?

With love,

Carmen.

…

Dear Carmen,

I know it must be hard to let anyone in, but as you said, I'm not just anyone. You can't stop you say, neither can I, for my heart beats with yours my Carmen. My heart is now racing in the thought of you, in the thought that you read my words as a honor. That you, the temptress that with a single swift of your hand can simply crush my being, seem to cling to my words. I can tell you this my love, there is no one that has ever done this to me, believe my words, my heart has only seem to have start beating since the day I sent you that fateful letter. I seemed to have been born dead, for my heart never moved, it stood still, never making the slightest twitch for no one, except you… You make my heart beat as drums do, where I can hear them beating in my ear, the soft music of love… It's beautiful… Do not fret or plea for your heart to quit beating so wildly, for it now beats for two, for the temptress and the tamer. Let that wild rhythm lull you to sleep, for it out love.

Very truly yours,

A lonely star.

Dear lonely star,

I cannot feel anything but the words you say to me, I feel like a woman who waits for their other to return home. But, we do not have a home to return to that is together, we are not two separated souls waiting endlessly for the other to arrive, no matter how it may feel. Do you feel this desperation that I do? Or do you have some secret in which you can share to me, for this feeling of loneliness and dread to escape me?

Waiting for you,

Carmen.

Dear Carm,

I do not have a secret, the answer is no. I feel the loneliness sweep through me, I feel it pulsating through my limbs. I keep my head up high expecting to come to you one day and receive my happy ever after. I never did believe in those until I met you, and maybe these letters prove them, for this is my last letter to you, my last hope at being with you. To be with you in our home because we can be anywhere under the sky, for we can glow together anywhere my love. My last opportunity to hold you, to feel you in this darkness, oh! How I hope you one day take me into the light!

Carmen, will you marry me? Love you now and forever,

A hopeful star.

Carmen stood there reading the letter, focusing on those random words. Yes, this letter was meant to be the last of _her_ letters, the final words added after the neat writing had first been finished. Carmen sighed, her writing had always been neat to perfection, these new words there, were they written just before sending, finally building the courage to ask her? Carmen smiled at that thought, she went and set a sheet of paper, grabbed a feather and dabbed it in ink, Carmen smiled at her lovers present. It had came with one of the letters, she had said, this was how women would send their husbands in war letters, and that she, was currently dealing with a war in her own mind, wanting to be with Carmen, yet unable to show herself from the darkness, which Carmen had to laugh a little, she was talking about Italy, who would of thought

Italy could be a dark place, but she assumes love can do that to people.

Deal Star,

Yes, simply yes. I will love to be your wife, I will love to stand by you in the night, so we can glow together brightly my love.

Forever yours,

Carmen.

…

Carmen is sitting in her living room, her foot moving up and down impatiently, she's wearing a black silky dress, made to pop anyone's eye out of their sockets. Today was the day she would come home. Carmen heard the door bell ring, echoing through the halls, and then the sound of loud footsteps heading towards her. Carmen takes a shaky intake of breath, finally turning around where the footsteps, seeing a woman standing there. The woman was holding a red velvet box in her hand, opened showing a large diamond ring. Carmen got up from her seat and rushed to the woman, connecting her lips with the older woman, as the woman snuck the ring into her finger.

…

It has been a month since the woman had come back from Italy. The woman and her had begun to plan the wedding, and just like the ring, it was meant to be big, to show off their 'love'. Carmen had brushed the thought aside, she was getting used to her new lover, she seemed a bit off, but they were just meeting in person, but Carmen knew that she had already seen this woman's soul. Now, Carmen just had to gain her trust enough to be shown the woman's true side.

…

_The past month:_

_So far in the past month, Carmen and the woman had begun to make arrangements almost immediately. The following day of the woman's return to L.A. they had gone out on a date. _

_It was in an expensive well known restaurant; the paparazzi were lined up outside, getting hundreds of pictures of the new 'it' couple._

_Carmen was nervous; this woman in front of her, the woman who had made her believe in love once again was finally with her. "Carmen," she said with a sly smile, "I'm so glad I've come back to L.A. for you, I really missed you honey." Carmen had been surprised with what the woman had just told her, better yet, how… She brushed off the idea, "I missed you too my lonely star," Carmen says smiling widely. The woman chuckles, "I'm sure you did."At the end of the night, the woman had tried to get Carmen to come home with her, Carmen had refused, wanting to wait till she was married. The older woman's face had a visible emotion present as she drove off; disappointment._

_The following month had been spent taking care of wedding pans. The woman had taken control of Carmen's business, with the excuse that Carmen must put full attention into the wedding, the list, the designs and most importantly the honeymoon. Carmen couldn't help this ominous feeling within her at the thought._

…

And here she was 2 weeks until the wedding. Carmen was walking into her woman's mansion. It was more like the size of a small island, but Carmen didn't care. Carmen was told by the woman's many maids that she was having a business meeting in her study, but Carmen went in anyways, wanting to surprise her love. She found herself doing a lot of this, trying to surprise her woman, bring a smile to her face, it never seemed to really work, and she always ended up interrupting something important, like now…

Carmen walked into the woman arguing a business proposition with another woman. They both turned to look at Carmen, the female stranger quickly looked at the woman, "I'm not up for it, ask someone else."

"Fine!" The woman says, obviously upset, Carmen had quickly realized how easily the woman could get angry through her own experiences in the last month.

"Carmen," the woman calls her, "This is one of my magazine writers," the woman says, walking to Carmen, kissing her fiercely on the lips. The female stranger looks away disgusted, Carmen had met woman like her before. So quick to judge, probably a bible thumper, so Carmen kisses the woman back with a fury to give the stranger a show, it works. The woman quickly excuses herself, mentioning she didn't want the offer. Before the female stranger left, Carmen got a small glimpse of a tattoo the woman had on the left front side of her neck, however, unable to tell what it was.

…

Tomorrow is her wedding, everything is perfect, the list is done, the guests are here or coming early next morning. There's only one problem, Carmen isn't happy.

She didn't know why before, until today. Carmen had been screamed at by the woman, because Carmen had asked why they needed to invite so many business acquaintances. Now, Carmen was in her room, sitting in the bed, staring out the window into the garden where she was to be married.

Carmen was stuck here, tears falling gently down her beautiful face. She finally realized why she wasn't happy, she was in love. She was in love with a ghost, a ghost that no longer existed. Her ghost, a faint memory of a person whose words brought joy to her world, now gone, replaced by a woman who was not what she appeared to be, a woman who did not love her.

The woman, who did not speak to her adoringly, instead mocked her as one does a child. A woman, who did not support her, instead manipulated her. A woman whose kiss and touch burned her body, but not from love, from a disgusting feeling that she did not understand in the past. A woman who did not love her, instead loved the money and power about her, she had fallen in love with the person whose ghost will mock her forever she lives, because when the woman would upset Carmen, Carmen would go to her room, lock herself in and reread those letters. Those letters that had damned her to this woman, how she wished she didn't love the woman from her letters. Deep down Carmen realized that, this woman could never show her the soul, in the way the letters did. Carmen walked to the window, staring up into the stars, and she wondered, why wasn't she shining as well…

Carmen could no longer lie to herself; she would spend the rest of her life, dreams filled with the love she could never have. Carmen could not lie to herself any longer, she had to lessen her misery, and it all started with one thing…

…

It was her wedding day, Carmen walked down the hall in the early morning, and into the woman's dressing room. There standing is the woman, the woman who is truly a stranger, whose letters proved her doubts. The woman standing in front of her, was not the one she loved, she could never have _that_ woman back. She accepted that, and even though all that would be left was letters that would comfort a small amount of the pain it had caused.

The woman looked back at Carmen angrily, "You should be getting dressed!" The woman hollers. Upset that Carmen wasn't wearing her dress, she wasn't going to allow Carmen to ruin her perfect ceremony and embarrass her.

"There's no need." Carmen says simply, no longer trying to appease this woman.

"What?" The woman asks nervously.

"I'm done, you're not the person I fell in love with, and I'm not marrying you. I won't be happy but maybe the pain you cause every time I realize you're not _that_ person _anymore_ will slowly start to numb." Carmen says to the shocked woman, yes, that woman had thought she had her eating at the palm of her hand, and she did, until now. Carmen turns around, and leaves out the door.

Her mother takes the duty of telling the guests, cheerily for some reason. Mercedes wanted her daughter _happy_, not married to some cold _puta_, as she liked to call _her_. At the end of the day, Carmen ends up in a worst position than 3 months ago, because she was still looking up at the sky. Only now, she held the letters from her soul mate tightly against her chest, tears falling, for thinking she deserved to shine brightly. She felt destined to only be a lonely star, holding on to the fallen star that didn't let her shine bright. Carmen cries and cries, till she runs out of tears, left with only emptiness, and a dull ache in her heart. She whispers her good bye to the woman she thought was her soul mate, "Goodbye Cherie."

…

**[Leona Lewis: Better in time] **

It's been a month since the no wedding, and Carmen was still unhappy. She decided to go back to work 3 weeks after _that_ fateful day, needing something to distract her mind from the painful ache in her heart.

She had received dozens of letters from the guests, and even more from Cherie's workers, telling her how _heartbroken_ Cherie is. Carmen couldn't help but laugh, how could she break something she never had? Life was beginning to look better, her heart was hurting, but at least the healing would start soon… right?

Carmen sighed, she was currently sitting in her office, alone, staring at the sky, who like her, seemed to be crying.

"Miss Morales?" She hears her assistant call her through the phone. "Yes?" She calls back. "There's someone here to see you, she says she works for Cherie. You want me to tell her to leave?" "No, these people won't fuck off," She mutters to herself, "let her in."

Carmen says to the intercom, seeing the door open. In comes the woman, 'the bible thumper,' Carmen likes to call her. "Hello, what have you possibly come here for?" Carmen asks sarcastically. She knew exactly what this woman was here for; Cherie had sent at least 45% of her top workers to come and beg her.

"Well, I'd like to know why you left our _poor_ Cherie, she is _so _heartbroken," the woman replies, obviously forced to have come. "I loved a side of her she never showed me in person, I love Cherie" Carmen replies, thinking of the wonderful letters, that seem of a time so far ago. "I don't know why it didn't work" Carmen's interrupted by screaming from the other woman.

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU TWO WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER!" The woman yells from across the room, hidden in the shadow where light wasn't able to reach it. The woman quickly walks out of the office. Carmen sighs, 'damn bible thumpers.'

Carmen turns her chair and continues to stare at the sky. It had stopped raining once the woman had come in, now, the brightest star of all, the sun, was beginning to break through the dark clouds.

…

Carmen comes home, already late night, thinking of her long stressful day, a headache, throbbing loudly in her ears, from the woman's loud scream. Carmen sighs when she enters her room, having her mother offer her 10 dif plates of _comfort _food, as her mother liked to call it, she wasn't hungry though, she was never hungry though, and always tired, but that would end soon… right?

Carmen gets ready for bed, putting on some sweats with a white T. She lays down, trying to sleep, however unsuccessful. She skims her room, and her eyes lock onto the dozen letters sitting on her desk. She sighs and gives up, she opens the letters one by one. Laughing at how corny somewhere, at how ridiculous they were, and how stupid they must think Carmen is by writing such things.

Dear Ms. Morales,

Ms. Jaffie is so utterly heartbroken, we hope that you soon will see how much you love her.

Alfred Belatte

From one of Cherie's stupid workers, seems like hundreds more as she reads them through.

Dear ,

We're sorry that it didn't work out in your engagement.

xXx Jewelry corp.

From Carmen's 'guests' that Cherie had forced her to invite. There were hundreds more from other companies, whether her own alliances, or the one's Cherie had created.

Carmen finally got down to her final letter, she read it, she felt the throbbing, resonating in her ears once again. Only this time, it wasn't from throbbing in her head, it was the fast beating of her heart…

…

Carmen pushes her foot down on the accelerator, the car speeding away to her destination, the letter still imprinted on her mind.

Dear Carm,

I'm sorry for the deception, I'm sorry for the pain…

Hidden in the shadows,

A lonely star.

Carmen got out of her car as soon as she put it on park, her feet quickly running down the Santa Monica pier.

…

Carmen sees the figure staring up into the sky, so lost in thought, _she _doesn't realize Carmen's behind her.

Carmen gently grabs her shoulder, and turns _her _to face her. Carmen looks into _the_ woman's eyes, looking for answers, though she knew now, deep in her heart, she _knew _this was _her._

"Is it really _you_?" Carmen asks, not willing to have her heart betray her again.

"Yes…" _She _lets out the whisper, though Carmen could hear it clearly.

"How can I know it's really you?" Carmen asks, not trusting still.

_The_ woman sighs, "My temptress, the answer is simple; you just do."

Carmen hugs_ the_ woman, and whispers in _her_ ear. "I thought you were a bible thumper."

_The_ woman laughs heartedly, "Why would you possibly think that?"

"You're visits weren't the most pleasant I had."

"Well my shining star," _she _says, "How could I watch the love of my life be kissed by that _monster_, and when you said you _loved_ the _monster_ it made me snap. To know why your heart belonged to someone so cruel, yet it should be mine."

"It could have been yours…" Carmen says, separating herself from _the _woman.

"I've said it before I can wait in the darkness until you shine your light on me," _she _says, looking back up to the stars.

"I don't think that will ever happen," Carmen says, looking into the stars.

_The _woman nods, and stays silent. Carmen looks over to _her _and finally gets a good view of the tattoo.

"Two stars?"

"_Our _stars," _she _says with a nod, never once breaking the stare to the sky.

"When did you get it?" Carmen asks.

"About 3 months ago," _she_ says, "when I wrote my last letter to the love of my life."

"You didn't propose did you?" Carmen asks, remembering the sloppy writing. _She_ shakes her head no. "I couldn't bring myself to give you away to a stranger."

Carmen closes her eyes, "I can't fall in love with a stranger, not again. I tried so hard to find the piece of Cherie that I loved but I couldn't because all that time-"

"It was _me_."

"Yes." Carmen says, eyes still closed, the cool air causing Goosebumps on her skin.

"I understand, you can't fall in love with a stranger, that's just _impossible_," _she _says.

Carmen opens her eyes, only to find _the _woman with a smirk, hand outstretched waiting for…

"Don't be rude now Carm," _she_ says. Carmen almost wants to slap that smirk off _her_ face, but she chooses to shake _the_ woman's hand instead.

"My name is Shane McCutcheon, and I'm in love with you." Shane says, leaning closer to Carmen, until their bodies are touching closely.

"Are we still strangers?" Shane asks, Carmen can feel Shane's breath on her lips, so close.

"No." Carmen says, leaning in the rest of the way, their lips connecting in a chaste yet passionate kiss.

Carmen opens her eyes, once they had to pull away for air, and like every night since she was a child, Carmen looks up and sees stars.

Only this time, they were in Shane's eyes. That's when she _knew,_ with Shane, she'd always shine brightly.

**The end. [Delta Goodrem: in this life.]**

**Random question how'd you like it? You like my short stories or should I give up and stick with the long ones?**


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